Now we’re headed interstate, but don’t worry, it’ll still cost an arm and a leg! They insist we all bunk at the same hotel. Slight problem: 100 guests, 10 rooms, and a nightly rate that’d make a rockstar blush.
Roger and I are about ready to elope ourselves just to escape this circus. At this rate, we’ll be living on ramen for a year just to afford their “special day.”
Here’s hoping their next bright idea doesn’t involve us selling a kidney! Let me introduce you to my buddy’s cousin Jeremy and his blushing bride.
These two lovebirds had a dream — a dream of cruising the high seas in style. So naturally, they decided their wedding was the perfect opportunity to crowdfund their nautical ambitions. Forget toasters and towels, these modern-day pirates wanted cold, hard cash to buy a boat.
But not just any old dinghy would do. Oh no, they had their hearts set on a brand-spanking-new Mastercraft. Because nothing says “till death do us part” like asking your guests to shell out for a luxury watercraft.
I hear the S.S. Entitlement is lovely this time of year! Imagine my surprise when I opened a wedding invite that came with a price tag.
My acquaintance, let’s call her “Goldilocks,” had a very specific vision for her big day. And by vision, I mean a minimum cash gift of $1,000 per guest. Anything less, she declared, “wouldn’t make a difference.” Oh, but it gets better.
We were instructed to label our gifts AND envelopes, lest our generous contributions go unnoticed. Heaven forbid she thank the wrong person for bankrolling her extravaganza! I’m still trying to decide which is more breathtaking: her audacity or her math skills.
Maybe I’ll send her a lovely “thank you” card for teaching me the true meaning of “gold digger!”
Hold onto your hats, folks, because this one takes the wedding cake. Picture this: you receive a save-the-date that looks suspiciously like an itemized bill. That’s right, these creative lovebirds decided to charge admission to their “destination” nuptials.
As if jet-setting to Nowheresville wasn’t pricey enough, we now had the privilege of paying for every morsel and moment of their big day. But wait, there’s more! Turns out, the father of the bride was the maestro behind this matrimonial money grab.
Shockingly, the wedding was a disaster. Who could’ve seen that coming? I hear they’re planning a vow renewal.
P.S. I’ll be busy washing my hair that decade. There you have it, folks, ten tales of wedding day wackiness that’ll make you appreciate eloping.
Got your own story of nuptial nonsense? Drop it in the comments! Do you have any opinions on this?
Source: amomama
