Do all fairy tales begin with “Once upon a Time”?

No, many of them begin “If I am elected, I promise …”

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father.

He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs and rump.

After a few minutes, Johnny asked “Dad, why are you doing that?”

His father replied, “Because when I’m buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.” Johnny, looking worried, said,

“Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom!”