A guy goes to confession and says,

“Bless me father for I have sinned. On Friday I went golfing and I used the “F” word. The priest says, “tell me about it, my son”.

The man says, I was on the first tee, and I shanked a shot wide left”. The priest says,

“oh, you must have said it then”. The man said, “no, because the ball went into the woods, hit a tree, and bounced back right in the middle of the fairway.”

The priest says,

“and then what happened?” The man said, “I hit my second shot, and the ball went wide right” . The priest says, “so that’s when you said it?” The man says “no, because my shot hit the ball washer machine on the next hole, popped up, and wound up right in the low rough”.

So the priest says, “oh, so that’s when you said it, then”. He said,

“no, because I took my wedge and hit it, and it wound up on the green, about six inches from the cup”

There’s silence for a while, and then the priest says, “don’t tell me you missed that fucking putt…”