I was ten when I lost my mom, and it broke me. She died minutes after discovering my dad was cheating on her ā a secret Iād been keeping, hoping to protect her. Seven years later, I caught him doing it again.
This time, I wasnāt going to stay silent and watch him betray my stepmother. When I was ten, I learned two things: secrets destroy families, and silence can kill. I still remember the afternoon my mom found out about my dadās affair, just 20 minutes before she died.
Sheād looked at my dad with such heartbreak and fury that it felt like her soul shattered right in front of me. Her hands trembled as she held his phone, the bright glow of the screen illuminating her tear-streaked face. āWho is she, David?ā she had asked.
My dad stammered, his face pale. āStella, I can explain āā
āExplain WHAT? That youāve been lying to me?
To us? Is this why youāve been coming home late? All the work meetings?
How long, David? How long?ā
I remember standing frozen in the hallway, gripping the edge of the wall like it was the only thing keeping me upright. Sheād discovered his affair by accident ā a text from his mistress had popped up while his phone was sitting on the counter.
The message read: āMiss you already. Last night was amazing. Canāt wait to see you again.ā I didnāt have to read it twice to understand what it meant.
What made it worse and what BROKE me was that I knew about the affair a week before Mom did. I overheard Dad on the phone one night when I got up to get water. He wasnāt exactly whispering.
I paused in the hallway, clutching my glass. āI miss you too,ā heād said, chuckling softly. āYouāre the only thing keeping me sane these days.
I love you, Sarah.ā
My heart dropped. I didnāt know what to do with the ache spreading through my chest. The next morning, I confronted him.
āDad, whoās Sarah?ā
His eyes widened. āMia, itās not what you think,ā heād said, but I could see the sweat beading on his forehead and his hands shook as he reached for my shoulder. āThen what IS it?ā Iād demanded, tears threatening to spill.
āWhy did you tell her that you āloveā her?ā
He crouched to my level, his voice dropping to a desperate whisper. āListen to me. You canāt tell your mom.
If you do, itāll ruin everything. Our family will fall apart. You donāt want that, do you?ā His eyes, usually so steady, were pleading.
At ten, I didnāt understand manipulation, but I understood fear. And in that moment, I was terrified ā of him and what the truth could do. Although I wanted to tell Mom, I couldnāt.
Not yet. So I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded. āOkay,ā I whispered.
But the truth has a way of coming out, right? A week later, Mom found the text from his mistress. Sheād screamed at him, her voice echoing through the house like thunder.
āI gave you EVERYTHING, David! How could you do this to me? To Mia?
I hate youā¦ā Then, an even louder, āI HATE YOU.ā
He followed her as she grabbed her car keys, his words frantic. āStella, wait, please. Donāt go.
Letās talk about this āā
But she didnāt stop. I stood in the doorway, clutching my stuffed rabbit to my chest, as she slammed the door and peeled out of the driveway. I felt so sorry for Mom.
And 20 minutes later, she was gone. They told me that her car was hit by a truck as she sped through the intersection. For years, I replayed that afternoon in my head.
I blamed Dad. I blamed myself. If I had told her sooner, maybe she wouldnāt have found out the way she did.
Maybe she wouldnāt have been so angry. Maybe she wouldāve been paying more attention to the road. After Mom died, my dad fell apart.
He stopped shaving, stopped smiling, and stopped being the man he used to be. Iād hear him crying at night when he thought I was asleep, whispering her name like it was a prayer he didnāt deserve to say. I wanted to hate him forever.
But hate is heavy, and after a while, it started crushing me. So I forgave him. Forgiveness was piece by piece until the anger turned into something softer⦠something like pity.
When I was 15, he married Diana, my stepmom. She was nothing like the woman heād cheated Mom with, though I havenāt seen Sarah, who just turned out to be a passing cloud in Dadās life. Diana was kind and warm, the kind of person who remembered your favorite dessert and tucked you in bed when you fell asleep on the couch.
I liked her instantly. For the first time since Mom died, I thought maybe we could be okay. Maybe we could be a family.
But I shouldāve known better. Two years passed, and a few weeks ago, I woke up to the soft click of the front door closing. My room was pitch black, except for the faint glow of my digital clock.
It read 2:14 a.m. Curious, I peeked out the window and saw Dad heading somewhere in the dark. āWhere is he going at this hour?ā I whispered, sitting up in bed.
I tried to convince myself it was nothing. Maybe he needed fresh air. Maybe he couldnāt sleep.
But something about it felt wrong. The next night, it happened again. And the night after that.
Each time, the sound of the door clicking shut sent a shiver down my spine. Iād asked Diana about it one morning. āDo you know why Dad keeps leaving in the middle of the night?ā
Her face scrunched up in confusion.
āWhat? Heās been leaving? No, I didnāt notice.
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