I Need A Pet To Keep Me Company

71

Strangely, the parrot sat on the opposite end of the craft just staring at the magician. Finally, on the fourth day, the parrot screamed “Okay, I give up… where the hell did you put the god damned boat!”

A trio of old veterans were bragging and jokes
about the heroic exploits of their ancestors one afternoon down at the VFW hall. “My great grandfather, at age 13,” one declared proudly, “was a drummer boy at Shiloh.”

“Mine,” boasts another, “went down with Custer at the Battle of Little Big Horn.”

“I’m the only soldier in my family,” confessed vet number three, “but if my great grandfather was living today he’d be the most famous man in the world.”

“Really?

What’d he do?” his friends wanted to know. “Nothing much… But he would be 165 years old.”