I forgot to mention that this incident has literally just happened, the reason my fiancé only just found out is because until now even I didn’t know if the money was coming to me or not due to several family and court complications. Am I in the wrong?”
Stay well away from that guy. There is no love there.
The woman received nothing but support in the aftermath of the post:
- My now husband was aware I had an inheritance. Not once has he ever asked me for money or to pay for something that’s for him alone. It’s always been thought of as money left to me to help me start my life.
This man who called you a burden isn’t worth the paper that money is printed on. How dare he assume that money will be his just because he exists in your life? The decision is of course yours, but I would really think about if this is the person you want to weather hardships with, financial or otherwise, for the rest of your life.
- He’s a man child.
He can finally get that boys’ holiday? He’s 35! Think you might have had a lucky escape.
He’s not planning your dream wedding, your dream honeymoon, house, etc. He’s paying off his debts and taking his friends away. It seems very selfish to me.
- “Any money you take in is mine also.” “You are a financial burden.” He has debt.
His first plan with your money is to vacation with his friends, not you. When you call him on it, he reverses it and makes you the villain for embarrassing him. When people show you who they are, believe them.
Don’t fall victim to sunk cost fallacy. Just because you wasted 5 years on him doesn’t mean you need to waste another minute.
- Even if you were married, the inheritance is still completely separate property. It NEVER belonged to your boyfriend.
I’m sure you are upset because your boyfriend is viewing the death of your nan as a joyous event.
But those who took time to offer advice mainly agreed about one major point:
- Stop the wedding. Do not marry this guy. First, wow, he’s got credit card debt he’s never paid off?
Living beyond his means is a HABIT. Second, what’s his is his, and what’s yours is his? Oh, honey NO.
Third, the rage, entitlement and projecting you would be “the burden” on him in the relationship? This man exhibits all the classic narcissist tells. Your grandparents last gift to you wasn’t just the money, but the wisdom of who this guy really is underneath.
No character and entitled.
- He has shown you that he thinks of you as a burden and is planning on spending money that isn’t actually his on his ‘boys’. And he’s screaming at you because you won’t fall in with his plans. You’re nuts if you actually marry him.
- You really want to marry this guy?
There are 2 problems:
1. He assumed he’s entitled to the money. 2.He assumed he can spend it on a discretionary item that does not include you. Problem 2 is the bigger issue.
Every family has its share of conflicts, and disagreements with mothers-in-law are quite common. Sometimes, even minor incidents can lead to significant arguments.
For instance, one woman experienced tension when her mother-in-law burst into tears upon seeing her son wash dishes. Later, the woman overheard her mother-in-law making negative remarks about her. You can read their story here.
