An old, blind Marine walks into a bar he’s never been in before, feeling around for a stool. He orders a shot of whiskey and relaxes a bit, unaware that he’s wandered into an all-female biker bar. After a few minutes, he grins and says loudly, “Hey!
Anyone here wanna hear a good blonde joke?”
The room goes dead silent.
In a gravelly voice, the woman next to him says,
“Before you say another word, let me help you out, Marine. Since you’re blind, you should know a few things:
— The bartender is blonde… and she’s holding a baseball bat.
— The bouncer is blonde… and she’s ex-military. — I’m 6 feet tall, 180 pounds, blonde… and a black belt in judo.
— The woman on your left is a blonde powerlifter.
— And the woman on your right is a blonde pro wrestler with a temper.”
She pauses. “Now, do you still want to tell that joke?”
The Marine takes a slow sip of his drink and mutters,
“Not if I’ll have to explain it five times.”
A cowboy who has just moved from Texas to Montana walks into a bar
A cowboy who has just moved from Texas to Montana walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits at the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender walks up and says to the cowboy, “You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought them one at a time.
”
The cowboy replies, “You see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona and the other is in Colorado.
What happened next changed everything… FULL STORY on the next page.
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