Working with children is supposed to be heartwarming and sweet. But let’s be honest: kids have no concept of social boundaries, and they are essentially tiny, unfiltered agents of chaos.
I’ve heard things that made me laugh until I cried, and things that made me want to disappear entirely. Here are the five times the kids I work with left me absolutely speechless.
1. The Junior Therapist
I was watching a group of six-year-olds when one girl started acting out. I was preparing to step in and mediate, but before I could, another little girl turned to her, sighed, and said with the wisdom of a woman who’s been through a divorce: “Go see a therapist, darling. You sound like you need one.”
It was hilarious, but then it hit me—how often must she be hearing that phrase at home for it to be her go-to insult?
2. The “Foxy” Nightmare
A seven-year-old boy told me he was terrified to enter his parents’ bedroom because “Foxy lives in the closet.” He was way past the age of being afraid of monsters, so I figured I’d better give his mom a heads-up.
It turns out he wasn’t afraid of a monster. He was afraid of his dad’s “furry” hobby. He’d found the fox costume while playing hide-and-seek and decided it was a sentient beast.
3. “Big Papa”
I was going through a routine exercise with my two-year-old class, asking them what their parents’ names were. I asked one little boy, “What’s Mommy’s name?” He said, “Mila.” Easy. Then I asked, “And what’s Daddy’s name?”
He looked totally stumped. So, I tried to help: “Well, what does Mommy call Daddy?”
What happened next changed everything… FULL STORY on the next page.
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