“It’s mine. The money’s mine.”
“What? Why would you put it inside a turkey?” I asked.
Kyle ran a hand through his hair, looking as sheepish as ever.
“I was trying to surprise you, Ace,” he sighed heavily.
“I cashed out my savings yesterday to book us a trip to Hawaii. But I left the money in my car and only remembered after I picked up the turkey today. I didn’t want you to discover the surprise early, so… I hid the cash in the turkey.
It seemed like a good idea at the time.”
“That’s…” I had no words.
Ruth chimed in. “I can confirm that he’s telling the truth, Ace. He told me he had finally reached his goal for the trip and cashed out his account.
But he didn’t tell me he stuffed the money in the turkey!”
She looked at her son pointedly and gave him another nudge. This one was rougher.
Finally, I found my voice. “Kyle!
What would you have done if I put the turkey in the oven without noticing the money? Remember, I’m cooking here!”
Kyle scratched the back of his head. “I didn’t think of that,” he muttered, sheepish.
I couldn’t believe it, but the tension of his insanity was broken when Officer Johnson laughed loudly.
“Son, I’ve seen a lot of things, but hiding money in poultry?
That’s a first,” he wheezed between chuckles.
Officer Miller looked at his superior and then at the turkey before asking, “Uh, should we… dust it for fingerprints?”
“I have the withdrawal receipt,” Kyle revealed, reaching into his pocket. Finally! He was doing something smart!
Officer Johnson took it and checked that the amount in the bag coincided with the receipt.
Both officers left afterward, still finding the whole thing amusing.
I covered my face in mortification as soon as I closed the door behind them. Then I shook my head and crossed my arms, turning to my husband, frustrated. “Kyle!
That was so embarrassing. You sounded insane!”
“Stupid is more like it,” Ruth said, settling on the couch.
He hunched his shoulders. “I panicked!
I wanted to keep it a surprise, and, the turkey was right there.”
“It could’ve caught fire in the oven,” I said, panicking as other scenarios crossed my mind. What if the whole house had burned down all because of this cash?
What if Max hadn’t barked at it? What if I had ignored it?
And also, did I marry an idiot?
Kyle was goofy, and it always seemed like he was rushing or running late. He could be clumsy and forgetful. But this incident truly took the cake.
“Honestly, Kyle,” Ruth added.
“You’re lucky if Ace doesn’t divorce you after this.”
I huffed, and he looked at me with puppy-dog eyes. But I was immune to that look. If Max couldn’t sway me for more treats with his cuteness, my husband couldn’t either.
And yet, I released a big breath, and a small giggle came out of my mouth.
“You’re unbelievable,” I whispered, shaking my head and smiling despite myself. “But I guess your heart was in the right place.”
Kyle gave me a toothy, goofy smile, and we moved on from that incident.
Later that night, we had a memorable Thanksgiving and laughed while telling the rest of the family what Kyle had done.
Max, our hero, got extra turkey scraps for his efforts, and my husband had to endure the playful teasing from his relatives.
Later, we went on that trip to Hawaii, of course. That’s where we conceived our baby, and I’m looking forward to telling him that he was born because his father stuffed a turkey with money.
But I’ll have to wait several years for that.
Anyway, folks, listen to your dogs! Sometimes, they’re not just looking for treats! Happy Thanksgiving!
