Three police officers were standing in line at the Pearly Gates
Saint Peter asked the first officer, “What did you do with your life?”
“I was a police officer,” he responded. “What kind of police officer?” Saint Peter asked. “I was a vice officer.
I kept drugs off the streets and out of the hands of kids.”
“Welcome to heaven You may end the gates.”
He asked the second man what he did as a police officer.
“I was a traffic officer,” said the man. “I kept the roads and highways safe.”
“Welcome to heaven.
You may enter the gates.”
He asked the third man what he did as a police officer. “I was a military policeman, sir,” replied the man.
“Wonderful!
I’ve been waiting for you all day!” replied Saint Peter. …
.. .
“I need to take a break!
Watch the gate, will you? ========================================
A young woman walks into a prestige car sales room.
Looks around at all the Porsches, Lamborghini’s, Jags etc., and says to the salesman. “Can I have the red one?” – a top of the range Porsche.
“I’ll pay cash!” and starts taking handfuls of cash out of a carrier bag until she gets to the right price.
The deal is finalised very quickly and the girl drives it away. She is back 2 days later, “I want my money back… it smell awfully bad when I use the brakes,” she states emphatically. Not wanting to lose the sale (having taken cash and fiddled the books) the manager decides to ride in the car with her… in case she is not driving it properly.
He gets in and she roars out of the dealership, drops it into second gear at 55 mph, floors the pedal again and slips into 3rd at 80mph does a handbrake turn into a country lane and then really starts to accelerate.
What happened next changed everything… FULL STORY on the next page.
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